I’ve seen many rules for successful women that fall flat (…be confident! ignore naysayers! wear red!...) But Tara Mohr created several concepts that resonated more deeply. Perhaps it’s the different angle of bringing out personal brilliance (our unique, exceptional talent) compared with being successful (accomplishment of an aim.) The rules below are hers, comments are mine. 

1. Imagine it. What does a knock-the-ball-out-of-the-park life look like for you? What is the career that seems so incredible you think it’s almost criminal to have it? What is the dream you don’t allow yourself to even consider because it seems too unrealistic, frivolous, or insane? Start envisioning it. That’s the beginning of having it.
  • HLS comment: Expressing our brilliance means living authentically. Part of this expression may be repressed through habitually making safe choices. Tim Ferriss, author of The 4 Hour Workweek, offers another take on this. He writes that answering “what do you want” or “what are your goals” is too imprecise to produce a meaningful and actionable answer. A more effective question is “what would excite me.” Check out his Dreamlining exercises to dig in – “the harder it is, the more you need it.”
2. Gasp. Start doing things that make you gasp and get the adrenalin flowing. Ask yourself, “What’s the gasp-level action here?” Your fears and a tough inner critic will chatter in your head. That’s normal, and just fine. When you hear that repetitive, irrational, mean inner critic, name it for what it is, and remember, it’s just a fearful liar, trying to protect you from any real or seeming risks. Go for the gasps and learn how false your inner critic’s narrative really is, and how conquerable your fears.
  • HLS comment: One way to kick start this is through sports or physical activities, where the exertion can truly get the adrenaline flowing while training the mind. I ride horses and have worked through dealing with major mental fear in the ring and hunt field. The problems are usually in my head and working it out physically (sweat!) as well as mentally reinforces the lesson learned.
3. Be an arrogant idiot. Of course I know you won’t, because you never could. But please, just be a little more of an arrogant idiot. You know those guys around the office who share their opinions without thinking, who rally everyone around their big, (often unformed) ideas? Be more like them. Even if just a bit. You can afford to move a few inches in that direction.
  • HLS comment: Think of it as passionately sharing your ideas simply because you believe in them. The bigger the better: "Ask for everything, because nothing less is worth having. People are drawn to big ideas and big adventures more passionately than to small ones." - The Princessa: Machiavelli for Women by Harriet Rubin
4. Question the voice that says “I’m not ready yet.” I know, I know. Because you are so brilliant and have such high standards, you see every way that you could be more qualified. You notice every part of your idea that is not perfected yet. While you are waiting to be ready, gathering more experience, sitting on your ideas, our friend are being anointed industry visionaries, getting raises, and seeing their ideas come to life in the world. They are no more ready than you, and perhaps less. Jump in the sandbox now, and start playing full out. Find out just how ready you are.
  • HLS comment: Key phrase is ‘playing full out’ – one of my favorite terms. Once you have a direction, commitment and are in action you realize that you create the readiness through doing.
5. Don’t wait for your Oscar. Don’t wait to be praised, anointed, or validated. Don’t wait for someone to give you permission to lead. Don’t wait for someone to invite you to share your voice. No one is going to discover you. (Well, actually, they will, but paradoxically, only after you’ve started boldly and consistently stepping into leadership, sharing your voice, and doing things that scare the hell out of you.)
  • HLS comment: Wherever you are is the perfect starting place for this attitude. I've also found working in early stage companies is a great incubator of this behavior. Many have cultures that expect and support this level of stepping up.