Never Give Up

What A Music Conductor Knows About Leadership: Hugh Ballou

Leadership coach Hugh Ballou spent the first 40 years of his career with his back to the audience

In my recent article on Cooperative Capitalism I promised more information from CEO Space faculty co-lead Hugh Ballou, who directs that effort together with multi-award winning author and expert on integrity in business Dr. David Gruder. The two coach, train and provide keynote addresses and learning experiences for corporations, both individually and jointly.

Of particular interest to me was seeing the way Ballou’s years of background as a music conductor have contributed to the skills he presents to leaders of organizations of all sizes including the world’s largest musical efforts, church organizations and even Fortune 1000 CEOs.

Says Ballou: “In 40 years of music ministry I conducted my work with my back to the audience.” Now, in his leadership training, he is addressing the challenges corporate leaders face head on.

Ballou defines a leader as one of three things:

1. A person who gets things done.
2. A person who learns how things get done.
3. A person who accomplishes work by influencing others.

Sometimes the influence is autocratic and negative. In other cases it’s based on inspiration, through trusted relationships (which is the path he selects and promotes).

Orchestrating Success
Have you ever watched a musical conductor at work? It’s leadership in motion. There is never an instant of indecision or a moment of doubt. The musical conductor is always in control. This may sound and seem like a dictatorship, but it is not, Ballou says. Nor is it a democracy, as a single person directs the will of others and the artistic vision that will shape the result.

On a corporate team, the leader articulates a vision through carefully crafted goals and empowers and directs key players in their role to the outcome and success.

In either case, the leader inspires the maximum result by inspiring and empowering the team of participants. If the leader is open and straightforward, the team will engage and do their best to succeed. But if the leader is ill-prepared, guarded and uncommunicative…the result is subpar (or perhaps a disaster).

Each player is highly skilled, and each person contributes the best of their unique talent. Together, the team creates a result that far surpasses what any individual could produce on their own. If the leader tells an expert oboe player how to play oboe – by the next season that player will likely be gone. But if he or she can bring out the greatest creativity and enthusiasm in the player, magic ensues.

Today, leadership coach Hugh Ballou trains leaders ranging from startup entrepreneurs to Fortune 1000 CEOs

From a musical conductor we can observe the following, Ballou says:

• If the leader is autocratic, there’s a limit to success.
• The leader should strive to portray a commanding presence—not a fearful dominance.
• The leader is only as effective as his or her success in inspiring and leading others.
• The leader defines how the result is expressed:
  • With passion and commitment
  • With unanimity of movement and expression
  • With a combination of skills that create momentum
  • With unity of pace and harmony
  • The leader invites people to participate through the aura of their presence
  • The leader knows and communicates that the team can only achieve its result with every member doing their best

Conductors and leaders inspire the highest possible performance from the groups that they lead. They are alert to circumstances and make adjustments and changes needed as the program progresses to ensure an optimal result. According to Ballou, corporate leaders can do much to sharpen their skills and understanding of ideal leadership by attending a symphony performance and observing the nuances and non-verbal signals that separate the merely good and acceptable from inspiring and unforgettable.

From Music Conductor to Meeting Conductor
One of the great problems Ballou notes that leaders seem to universally face is that they want to blame others for the problems they helped to create. Perhaps they are unclear about specifics or time frames and fail to provide mentoring.  Sometimes as leaders we confuse mentoring with micromanaging, Ballou says. When leaders fall short, he suggests they turn around once again, to take a close look in the mirror.

As Ballou teaches leaders he often uses his orchestra experience as an analogy:

• The orchestra lecturn holds the score (the strategic plan.)
• Every event that will happen is notated, with clearly defined roles and parts.
• The action plan is directly tied to the musical score.
• The CEO directs from the score (as opposed to playing the music). Their highest value is inspiring and allowing other people to perform to their highest level of expertise.
• As a conductor, the team lead (or CEO) begins with the “why” of a given performance, influences people with a common purpose, then gives them a clear pathway and coaches them to excellence.
• The choir or orchestra’s job is to listen to each other, and to use their level of expertise and also combine it with others then to attain a harmonic ensemble result. Many leaders inadvertently squelch these possibilities by being the “answer person” rather than allowing people to function in the areas they know best (a phenomenon leadership expert Murray Bowen has described as “irresponsible responsibility”). The result: A burned out leader and a frustrated team.

“In audiences and in facilitations it’s been interesting to note that 65-75% of those who attend have had some musical experience, and the rest have generally observed a conductor,” Ballou says. “So when I create the analogy, I hear ‘Ah’.”

“I particularly enjoy working with startup entrepreneurs,” says Ballou. “In these cases, companies can create a ‘ground up’ culture of high performance.”

That culture is vital, he notes, in that the U.S. currently suffers from an estimated 70% disengaged employees, according to research numbers from Gallup. It is an epidemic that costs organizations millions of lost hours and billions in lost revenue, particularly when we consider the vast hours leaders spend undoing conflict, much of which they’ve inadvertently (or occasionally even purposely) set up as a misguided ploy to show strength.

Relationships, trust, and a sense of ensemble are vital for optimal companies and teams, Ballou says.

"I love the concept of Jazz ensembles as an analogy,” he says. “It’s the most creative musical form we have in America. But it is not at all haphazard. In a group you have a chord structure, a rhythm, and there are rules of the road to dictate behavior such as if you don’t have a solo, you don’t play loud.”

“Yet we have leaders declaring, ‘I don’t want to be held back by a plan’. With a good structure, you have the room to be creative. Leaders tell me ‘I don’t have time to write down my goals.’ So do you have time to redo your projects, I ask?”

Finally, Ballou shares a set of leadership principles that music conductors know best:

1. Know the score. Know your vision and plan, and set it down in advance.
2. If you want a good ensemble, hire the best players. Look for good skills and good potential to grow.
3. Build effective relationships. Leaders lead people; managers manage money.
4. Every fine ensemble rehearses for every performance. But we often run straight to execution in business and then we execute poorly. By doing so, we build the DNA for poor performance. If we don’t rehearse what we want to accomplish as leaders, we’re modeling poor leadership (which others will copy). Is this the legacy we want to instill?
5. Prepare for meetings by preparing for the outcomes. Within meetings, allow people to play their instruments and to do their parts.
6. Value the rests. The pauses in any musical score are there for a distinct reason. They are punctuation. Yet as leaders we don’t value rest and we don’t put it into our calendar. We need time to plan, evaluate, think, rest and play. In doing this, we deprive ourselves of the chance to perform as a whole person, so we don’t show up as our best selves. An anxious leader communicates anxiety that is contagious throughout the whole human system. So we should value the rest periods and we should perpetually work on ourselves.

Cheryl Conner,

Want a Mentor for Your Business? Look for These 3 Qualities

Maxine Manafy 

When you’re starting a business — or even just thinking about it — the advice you’ll get again and again is to find a mentor.

But here’s what’s more important: finding the right mentor.

The mentor-mentee relationship is a lot like dating. You must share mutual interests, really want to spend time together and be equally committed. It takes time to identify the perfect fit, and to be honest, sometimes there’s not a match. There are also fundamental qualities in your mentor that will determine whether you’ll get the most from the relationship.

While running my own business, I’ve been fortunate to have several excellent mentor relationships. Looking back, here are the three things that I’ve seen really ensure success: 

1. Chemistry
The most important thing to find in a mentor is chemistry. There has to be a fit between the two of you if the relationship is going to work.

What does this mean, exactly? First, there should be at least one major interest that the two of you share. What’s more, though, it’s important that your mentor shares some of the same ideas and views that you do on that topic.

If, for example, your business mentor is a sales expert and a firm believer that the customer is always right, but you believe that focusing on customer support is a waste of time, it’s unlikely the two of you will have a lasting relationship. Even if you don’t know what your beliefs are on a particular topic right away, getting to know your mentor’s views on issues you believe are important will be key to finding the right one. 

2. Commitment
When I think about the best mentors I’ve had, it always came down to commitment — or how much time they were willing to spend with me. Because successful people are usually good at what they do, their time is in constant demand. But if a mentor is willing to carve out even a small slice of his or her day to chat with you, that can make all the difference. It shows their commitment and helps you gain a lot out of the relationship. It allows you to really learn and ask questions. And it provides a sense of support should something come up down the road.

One of my mentors today travels a lot. Although his family and home are in Silicon Valley, he travels to Europe once a month, sometimes for a few weeks at a time, to meet with his team. Despite his hectic schedule, though, he always makes time to speak with me, even if we have to do a quick Skype call at the crack of dawn. For me, that sends a message that he is willing to put in the time even if he’s on a different continent. And that’s exactly what you want. 

3. Honesty
Yeah, yeah, it sounds cheesy and weird, but it’s true: Honesty and integrity are important in a business mentor.

Maybe it seems obvious, but what I’m really saying here is that you don’t want a mentor who is going to tell you what you want to hear just to make you feel good. If you are going to get any real learning out of a mentorship, you need to have someone who will be honest with you and let you know when you’re moving in the wrong direction. Constant flattery and sugar coating will not help you learn.

This may also mean you need to build thicker skin to take the criticism, but if it’s done correctly, the result will not only be constructive, but eye-opening. One of my mentors, for example, is great at calling me out and being brutally honest, even when I disagree.

 Recently, he told me it was time to stop being a founder and start being a CEO. At first I didn’t see the difference, but it was actually a great wake-up call — and I needed it.
Because of his candidness, I have a tremendous amount of trust in him and usually seek his advice on the most important topics.

I know that he will always shoot me straight — and that’s invaluable in a business setting.

I know that he will always shoot me straight — and that’s invaluable in a business setting. Many people think you can just go out and ask someone to be your mentor — but that’s sort of like proposing on the first date without buying dinner first. Really, these relationships often evolve spontaneously over time, when it becomes obvious that someone has all of these qualities and is a fit to help guide you through your business. In fact, it hardly ever comes down to “looking” for a mentor at all. Mentors are usually people you respect and have worked with in the past. They’ve given you advice and somehow manage to be a person you go to often when you’re in a bind. Nothing needs to be said about the relationship — because it’s already there.

Get the Most Out of Executive Coaching

 

Remember “light bulb” jokes? My favorite was, “How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb must want to change.” It’s true: Unless or until a person decides to commit to change wholeheartedly, no coach can help move him or her one-millimeter off the dime.

 

Worse yet is the fact that, unlike light bulbs that lack the capacity for self-deception, humans bamboozle themselves all the time. Whether it’s a smoking cessation program or working with a coach to improve management skills, people claim they want to change or drop dysfunctional behaviors from their lives, but then fight like Ninja warriors to defend them. Worst of all, irrespective of how intelligent or professionally powerful a person is, it is a virtual certainty that after embarking on a change process, they will be partially or fully derailed by the feeling, “Better the devil I know than the devil I don’t know.”

The reason why backsliding on our ostensible commitments to change is so common is because most change is the result of compliance to a demand, incentive, or threat. “Lose weight or you’ll suffer a heart attack” coming from an M.D. is a directive most folks won’t ignore. Unfortunately, when incentivized to change in this manner falling off the wagon is common because our motivation wasn’t to change, it was to avoid a premature death.

Psychologists who have studied intrinsic and extrinsic motivation since the 1970s — most notably, Professor Edward L. Deci — demonstrate that when a person acts in response to extrinsic motivators — the promise of money; the threat of punishment — commitment to a behavior is short-lived. This is why when the cat’s away, mice will play. Mice don’t want to change their behavior, i.e. playing games, but they do when cats are present. However, since change (the cessation of play) was instigated by an extrinsic force — Tabby — if Tabby isn’t monitoring the mice, thse rodents instantly revert to form.

What, then, should you do if you think you want to change and, like so many of your peers, put your faith (and a huge financial commitment) in a coach? Is it possible to develop an authentic commitment to executive coaching through sheer willpower alone? No. But what you can do is develop a mindset — i.e. new “automatic” cognitive messages — that will help you counter your own resistance to change. 

What follows are the exercises I use most often to help new clients initiate coaching with the best mindset possible. If, prior to the onset of coaching you experience the attitude adjustments they are designed to foster, the change process should be profoundly less anxiety- and resistance-provoking for you than it is for those who dive in unprepared. 

1. Ask yourself, “Cui bono?”
Recall a golf lesson or the clumsiness you suffered during an introductory yoga class. Now recall how you responded when the club pro or yogacharya gave you critical feedback. No big deal, right? Well if you’ve never been to an executive coach, I guarantee that the first critique you receive will not be a NBD experience. Why? Golf or yoga are peripheral to an executive’s definition of self. Being a stellar manager is central, so when someone pokes that realm of your self-concept the usual reaction is “ouch!”

The best way to reduce the possibility of being stung by an executive coach’s constructive critical feedback is to remind yourself that it is (a) not ad hominem and as such, (b) comparable to the club pro’s efforts to correct your slice. To do this with ease, learn to employ the Latin phrase “Cui bono?” — literally, “as a benefit to whom?” — after each critique you receive. The rational portion of your brain knows that no competent coach would gratuitously put you down. Now you need to train the more primitive, more reactionary parts of your brain to think that way too. By making “Cui bono?” the mantra you bring to assessment sessions with your coach, you can learn to accept that any and all feedback from him or her is intended to be helpful, not hurtful.

2. Be sure you wouldn’t rather hire a cheerleader than a coach.
Many consultants and coaches know that they can build lucrative client bases by treating protégés the way Little League coaches deal with their pre-teen charges: Everything the kid does evokes a “good job” or “atta boy!” 

The problem with an automatic “good job” reaction is that it is useless and often — even by pre-teens — seen for what it is: Balm for under-developed egos. An 11-year-old with burgeoning self-esteem would much rather hear “keep your eye on the ball” after striking out than “good job,” but if you want to hear cheering regardless of how you perform, caveat emptor. An ethical coach doesn’t bring pom-poms to meetings with clients, so hire to your needs.

3. Learn the difference between participation and commitment.
Having spent 30 years as a psychotherapist and coach, I can assure you that acting the role of a “participant in a change process” is not nearly the same as being committed to actually changing yourself. Many people claim to be involved in a change process when, in fact, they are holding their true selves in abeyance. Years ago, many gay men married women because they held the deluded belief that the process of being part of an intimate heterosexual dyad would change who they were. In time, virtually all discovered that suppression doesn’t work and that role-playing without conviction has no chance of effecting change.

Coaching cannot change you one iota unless or until you’re really committed — until you have skin in the game. Before I work with a client who needs to make major changes, I share the aphorism my baseball coach once told me to drive home the distinction between authentic commitment vs. going through the motions: “There’s a huge difference between participating in baseball and being committed to it; it’s like a bacon and egg breakfast. The chicken participates in the breakfast. The pig, on the other hand, was fully committed.”

Since you won’t change unless you really want to, and nothing — not the highest-priced coach or public declarations about your intention to change (which, presumably, will humiliate you if you fail) — will help you to succeed, it behooves you to learn how to thwart your worst tendencies in advance of tackling change. This is what cartoonist/philosopher Walt Kelly, in his possum persona, Pogo, was referring to when he said, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” If you accept this fact of life, coaching — and every other change process you initiate — will become surprisingly simple.

Steven Berglas

A faculty member of Harvard Medical School’s Department of Psychiatry and staff member of McLean Hospital for 25 years, Dr. Steven Berglas is now an executive coach and corporate consultant based in Los Angeles, CA.

Six Tips for Forcing Yourself to Tackle a Dreaded Task

141

 

It’s a Secret of Adulthood: Happiness doesn’t always make me feel happy. Often, I know I’d be happier if I do something I really don’t feel like doing. Making that phone call. Dealing with tech support. Writing that email.

Those dreaded tasks hang over my head, though; they make me feel drained and uneasy. I’ve learned that I’m much happier, in the long run, if I try to tackle them as soon as possible, rather than allowing myself to push them off.

Here are some strategies I use:

1. Do it first thing in the morning. If you’re dreading doing something, you’re going to be able to think of more creative excuses as the day goes along. One of my Twelve Commandments is “Do it now.” No delay is the best way.

2. If you find yourself putting off a task that you try to do several times a week, do it EVERY day. When I was planning my blog, I envisioned posting two or three times a week. Then a blogging friend convinced me that no, I should post every day. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, I’ve found that it’s easier to do it every day (well, except Sundays) than fewer times each week. There’s no dithering, there’s no juggling. I know I have to post, so I do. If you’re finding it hard to go for a walk four times a week, try going every day.

3. Have someone keep you company. Studies show that we enjoy practically every activity more when we’re with other people. Having a friend along can be a distraction, a source of reassurance, or just moral support.

4. Make preparations, assemble the proper tools. Clean off your desk, get the phone number, find the file. I often find that when I’m dreading a task, it helps me to feel prepared. There’s a wonderful term that chefs use: mis-en-place, French for “everything in its place.” It describes the preparation done before starting to cook: gathering ingredients and implements, chopping, measuring, etc. Mis-en-place is preparation, but it’s also a state of mind; mis-en-place means you have everything at the ready, with no need to run out to the store or begin a frantic search for a sifter. You’re truly ready to begin to work.

5. Commit. We’ve all heard the advice to write down your goals. This really works, so force yourself to do it. Usually this advice relates to long-term goals, but it works with short-term goals, too. On the top of a piece of paper, write, “By the end of today, I will have _____.” This also gives you the thrill of crossing a task off your list. (See below.)

6. Remind yourself that finishing a dreaded task is tremendously energizing. Studies show that hitting a goal releases chemicals in the brain that give you pleasure. If you’re feeling blue, although the last thing you feel like doing is something you don’t feel like doing, push yourself. You’ll get a big lift from it.