Make a list of the 5 leaders you most admire. They can be
from business, social media, politics, technology, the sciences, any
field. Now ask yourself why you admire them. The chances are high that
your admiration is based on more than their accomplishments, impressive
as those may be. I’ll bet that everyone on your list reaches you on an emotional level.
English: Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This ability to reach people in a way that transcends the
intellectual and rational is the mark of a great leader. They all have
it. They inspire us. It’s a simple as that. And when we’re inspired we
tap into our best selves and deliver amazing work.
So, can this ability to touch and inspire people be learned?
No and yes. The truth is that not everyone can lead, and there is no
substitute for natural talent. Honestly, I’m more convinced of this now –
I’m in reality about the world of work and employee engagement. But for
those who fall somewhat short of being a natural born star (which is
pretty much MANY of us), leadership skills can be acquired, honed and perfected.
Let’s Take A Look At Tools That Allow For Talent To Shine:
Emotional intelligence. Great leaders
understand empathy, and have the ability to read people’s (sometimes
unconscious, often unstated) needs and desires. This allows them to
speak to these needs and, when at all possible, to fulfill them. When
people feel they are understood and empathized something, they respond
PERIOD and a bond is formed.
Continuous learning. Show me a know-it-all and I’ll
show you someone who doesn’t have a clue about being human. Curiosity
and an insatiable desire to always do better is the mark of a great
leader. They are rarely satisfied with the status quo, and welcome new
knowledge and fresh (even if challenging) input. It’s all about
investing in yourself.
Contextualize. Great leaders respond to each
challenge with a fresh eye. They know that what worked in one situation
may be useless in another. Before you act, make sure you understand the
specifics of the situation and tailor your actions accordingly.
Let Go. Too many people think leadership is about control. In fact, great leaders inspire and then get out of the way.
They know that talented people don’t need or want hovering managers.
Leadership is about influence, guidance, and support, not control. Look
for ways to do your job and then get out of the way so that people can
do theirs.
Honesty. Not a week goes by that we don’t hear about
a so-called leader losing credibility because he or she was dishonest.
Often this is because of pressure to try and “measure up” and it’s not
coming from a place of being real – often this relates to fear of not
being accepted for your true self. We live in age of extraordinary
transparency, which is reason enough to always be true to your core –
your mission will be revealed, your motivations will show by your
behaviors. But it goes way beyond this. It’s an issue that sets an
example and elevates an organization. If you have a reputation for
honesty, it will be a lot easier to deliver bad news and face tough
challenges. Are you inspiring people from your heart?
Kindness and respect. Nice leaders (people) don’t
finish last. They finish first again and again. Ignorance and arrogance
are leadership killers. They’re also a mark of insecurity. Treating
everyone with a basic level respect is an absolute must trait of
leadership. And kindness is the gift that keeps on giving back. Of
course, there will be people who prove they don’t deserve respect and
they must be dealt with. But that job will be made much easier, and will
have far less impact on your organization, if you have a reputation for
kindness, honesty and respect.
Collaboration. People’s jobs and careers are integral
to their lives. The more your organization can make them a partner, the
more they will deliver amazing results. This means, to the greatest
extent possible, communicating your organization’s strategies, goals and
challenges. This builds buy-in, and again is a mark of respect. People
won’t be blindsided (which is a workplace culture killer) by setbacks if
they’re in the loop.
Partner with your people. As I said above, people’s
careers are a big part of their lives. That seems like a no-brainer, but
leaders should have it front and center at all times. Find out what
your employees’ career goals are and then do everything you can to help
them reach them. Even if it means they will eventually leave your
organization. You will gain happy, productive employees who will work
with passion and commitment, and tout your company far and wide. This an
opportunity to brand your greatness.
Leadership is both an art and a science. These tools are
guidelines, not rigid rules. Everyone has to develop his or her own
individual leadership style. Make these tools a part of your arsenal and
use them well as you strive to reach people on an emotional level. Be
Human. This Matters.
When you’re starting a business — or even just thinking about it — the advice you’ll get again and again is to find a mentor.
But here’s what’s more important: finding the right mentor.
The mentor-mentee relationship is a lot like dating. You must share
mutual interests, really want to spend time together and be equally
committed. It takes time to identify the perfect fit, and to be honest,
sometimes there’s not a match. There are also fundamental qualities in
your mentor that will determine whether you’ll get the most from the
relationship.
While running my own business, I’ve been fortunate to have several
excellent mentor relationships. Looking back, here are the three things
that I’ve seen really ensure success:
1. Chemistry
The most important thing to find in a mentor is chemistry. There has
to be a fit between the two of you if the relationship is going to work.
What does this mean, exactly? First, there should be at least one
major interest that the two of you share. What’s more, though, it’s
important that your mentor shares some of the same ideas and views that
you do on that topic.
If, for example, your business mentor is a sales expert and a firm believer that the customer is always right,
but you believe that focusing on customer support is a waste of time,
it’s unlikely the two of you will have a lasting relationship. Even if
you don’t know what your beliefs are on a particular topic right away,
getting to know your mentor’s views on issues you believe are important
will be key to finding the right one.
2. Commitment
When I think about the best mentors I’ve had, it always came down to
commitment — or how much time they were willing to spend with me.
Because successful people are usually good at what they do, their time
is in constant demand. But if a mentor is willing to carve out even a
small slice of his or her day to chat with you, that can make all the
difference. It shows their commitment and helps you gain a lot out of
the relationship. It allows you to really learn and ask questions. And
it provides a sense of support should something come up down the road.
One of my mentors today travels a lot. Although his family and home
are in Silicon Valley, he travels to Europe once a month, sometimes for a
few weeks at a time, to meet with his team. Despite his hectic
schedule, though, he always makes time to speak with me, even if we have
to do a quick Skype call at the crack of dawn. For me, that sends a
message that he is willing to put in the time even if he’s on a
different continent. And that’s exactly what you want.
3. Honesty
Yeah, yeah, it sounds cheesy and weird, but it’s true: Honesty and integrity are important in a business mentor.
Maybe it seems obvious, but what I’m really saying here is that you
don’t want a mentor who is going to tell you what you want to hear just
to make you feel good. If you are going to get any real learning out of a
mentorship, you need to have someone who will be honest with you and
let you know when you’re moving in the wrong direction. Constant
flattery and sugar coating will not help you learn.
This may also mean you need to build thicker skin to take the criticism,
but if it’s done correctly, the result will not only be constructive,
but eye-opening. One of my mentors, for example, is great at calling me
out and being brutally honest, even when I disagree.
Recently, he told
me it was time to stop being a founder and start being a CEO. At first I
didn’t see the difference, but it was actually a great wake-up call —
and I needed it.
Because of his candidness, I have a tremendous amount of trust in him and usually seek his advice on the most important topics.
I know that he will always shoot me straight — and that’s invaluable in a business setting.
I know that he will always shoot me straight — and that’s invaluable in a business setting.
Many people think you can just go out and ask someone to be your
mentor — but that’s sort of like proposing on the first date without
buying dinner first. Really, these relationships often evolve
spontaneously over time, when it becomes obvious that someone has all of
these qualities and is a fit to help guide you through your business.
In fact, it hardly ever comes down to “looking” for a mentor at all.
Mentors are usually people you respect and have worked with in the past.
They’ve given you advice and somehow manage to be a person you go to
often when you’re in a bind. Nothing needs to be said about the
relationship — because it’s already there.
