What my kids have taught me about management

After more than 20 years in business, as a follower, employee, manager, leader and business owner; and being the father of three great kids, with one on the way this fall, it has become painfully obvious to me the parallels between managing and parenting. Rising into the management ranks at an early age, I was constantly asked by direct reports starting out their budding careers what they could do to gain the experience and practice necessary to advance up the corporate ranks so fast. I always told them the same thing: “You want practice and experience being a manager? Go have some kids.” Here are a few of the take-a ways I have experienced over the years: 

1. How many times does it take to get the point across? Everyone has his or her own learning curve. Some are quick studies and grasp new things like a sponge. Others take longer to learn the same things. Remember back to when we were in school, learning something new for the first time? Maybe you were the one that got it right away, it was intuitive for you. Maybe you were the one that could not understand how the Pythagorean theorem worked to save your life. Expecting everyone to grasp concepts on the same timeline is unrealistic. Understanding how people learn is the first step to helping get the point across.

2. How do they learn? Every child (or employee) has their own learning style and their own way of communicating effectively. Managers want to lead, teach and coach in their own natural learning style. This works great if your child or team member always shares your learning style. If they do not, you are in for a dysfunctional relationship unless you can figure out quickly how to effectively communicate with them in their own style. And yes, as the manager just like a parent, it’s up to you to adapt, not the other way around.

3. How best to discipline? My two year old is a typical terrible two. Do not get me wrong, she is a great, sweet little girl, but she is ornery and stubborn. When her brothers were her age, I could yell at them for getting out of line and they would straighten up quick. The oldest is a pleaser and he just wants to make you happy. You treat the little one that way and she melts down in a puddle of tears. Real tears, not the fake kind kids are so good at producing. Learning discipline styles and what works for your team is just as important as learning what motivates them. Everyone needs a boost or kick in the pants from time to time, but do it the wrong way and you will lose them. Learn how to coach them and you will have an ally.

4. How are they motivated? Everyone is motivated differently. Some people love being the center of attention and nothing will motivate them more to bust their butts everyday for you than praising them for a job well done in public, especially in front of their peers. Others cannot stand being in the spotlight, and so private acknowledgement works best for them. Many people could care less about benefits or special rewards for a job well done, while others thrive on those little extras or bonuses. Learning what motivates best is the quickest way to learn how to get the best out of those you are working with.

We are all different. Taking a step back and objectively comparing yourself to those you know should tell you that this is true. If we were all the same, this managing thing would be easy. Leadership would be a breeze. Just do everything the way I would expect it to be done and we would operate like a well-oiled machine. Unfortunately, this is not how it goes and anyone that has ever had to lead a group, manage a team, reason with young children or argue with teenagers can attest to the same thing. Trying to apply the cookie-cutter approach will never work. Ultimately, we have to accept the fact that to be a truly effective parent, leader or manager comes down to the same underlying premise: You have to get to know and understand the individuals you are working with to truly be able to lead, teach, coach and mentor them to success. 

Posted by:Matthew Motil

The Leadership Lesson They Don't Teach In Business School But Should

Mike Myatt,

 

I’ve always believed leadership exists to disrupt mediocrity, but I’m afraid in recent times many leaders are losing that battle. Somewhere along the way, they threw in the towel and settled for a weak-kneed, watered-down version of leadership – they have rationalized and justified themselves into an acceptance of mediocrity.

The sad reality is that in many cases, the education, training and development leaders receive today is woefully inadequate. We are producing analysts and risk managers and labeling them leaders. We’ve taught them to be practical, analytical, and risk adverse, but have failed to equip them to lead.

Too many leaders look alike, think alike and act alike. It’s almost as if courageous leadership has been bled out of many of those holding positions of leadership. Great numbers of leaders seem to have wandered off course and are badly in need a road map to help them regain their bearing. I have recently authored a new book, Hacking Leadership (Wiley), which is being released next Monday (12/16). It’s my hope this book will serve as just that road map.

Today’s column will not only provide you with a brief overview of my book, but I’m hopeful it may rekindle a spark still flickering somewhere deep down inside you – that it will cause you to reexamine your definition of truly remarkable leadership. Whether you read the book or not is up to you, but if we don’t start viewing leadership through an altogether different lens I can guarantee you won’t like the outcome.

So, what is hacking leadership? It’s a framework for thinking, acting, and leading differently. It challenges conventional leadership constructs, and offers insights on why what we’ve been duped into referring to as leadership is actually very far from the real thing. The thought is to use adaptive, applied, and creative thinking combined with enhanced problem solving skills to become a more skilled leader. To become more self aware as a leader, to more rapidly identify blind spots, and to close critical gaps keeping you, your team, and your organization from reaching your leadership potential.

In my book I define hacking as follows:

Hacking [hak-ing] – present participle of hack (verb) to discover an alternate path, clever and skillful tricks, shortcuts and workarounds, breaking the code, deciphering complexity, influencing outcomes, acquiring access, and creating innovative customizations to existing/outdated methodologies.

While there are many things that can cause a leader to fail themselves and those they lead, I’ve identified 11 critical leadership gaps and blind spots, which if not identified, understood, and addressed can be fatal to both leaders and there organizations. While entertaining, what they teach you in business school, and what you read in most books is radically different than what you experience in real life – is it not?

As the world continues to evolve, so must our leadership acumen. Real leaders must learn to hack time-tested leadership principles to make them more relevant, practical, and effective. Leaders must stop holding on to false truths held as real, and lead in new and different ways. Leaders must spend more time exploring what they don’t know rather than waxing eloquent about what they do know. They must seek out diverse and even dissenting opinions in search of what’s right rather than being concerned about who gets the credit for being right.

The bottom line is this – the principles contained in Hacking Leadership will not only challenge your current perceptions and beliefs, but they will provide you with an actionable road map to becoming a better, more engaged, more relevant leader. Here’s a brief excerpt from the book:

“Leadership means many things to many people. And not all forms of leadership are created equal. Leadership can represent a pursuit, discipline, practice, passion, skill, competency, obligation, or duty. Leadership driven by any of these constructs can be effective, but where leadership really gets interesting is when it combines all of these traits to become purpose driven. The best leaders understand the critical importance of transforming personal values into a greater sense of purpose. It is only at the point where leaders become committed to purpose that they’re able to surrender to it and let purpose guide their approach to leadership. It’s often this revelation that transforms leaders in title only into passionate purpose-driven leaders.”

So, my question is this: are you ready to challenge your own leadership beliefs to discover whether or not they’re serving you as well as you think?