Work to live & don't live to work

How to Be Happier than Anyone You Know

Deepak Chopra MD (official)

Founder, Chopra Foundation

The psychological study of happiness has waited a long time, which seems peculiar. Everyone seeks to be happy, and yet modern psychology has been focused on mental disorders for almost all of its history. Only recently has the field of positive psychology emerged, and it has had a hard time getting a handle on happiness. Few really reliable facts have emerged, and there are leading theories that throw up their hands, claiming that lifelong happiness is an impossible ideal.

The reason for such a gloomy conclusion comes down to a belief that human beings, first of all, are bad predictors of what will make them happy. For example, having a baby is supposed to be a blissful event, yet among the biggest stresses in a woman's life is taking care of an infant. Making more money doesn't make people happier beyond a certain point, the point where finances don't promote anxiety and insecurity. Some happiness researchers believe in an emotional "set point," a predetermined level of happiness to which each person returns. If your set point is low, even the happiest experience will be temporary--within six months you will return to your set point.

But the least hopeful conclusion about happiness is that it occurs randomly. The notion that we blindly stumble into happiness, experience it for a while, and then move on implies that there is no control over being happy and no method for making it last. Therefore, when around 70-80% of Americans tell pollsters that they are happy, they are either fooling themselves, saying what is expected of them, or have very low expectations. Probably all three factors are at work.

These are the conclusions I discovered while researching my book, The Ultimate Happiness Prescription, and yet it seems possible to have a very different, and far more hopeful, view of how to find lasting happiness. The key lies with a teaching found in India and other wisdom traditions around the world, which says that a person must choose between the path of pleasure and the path of wisdom. The path of pleasure tries to achieve happiness by increasing pleasure and decreasing pain. In many ways, this path is inevitable for almost everyone, because since infancy we've been conditioned to follow it.

The natural instinct to maximize pleasure and minimize pain isn't all that natural, however. Near the end of a marathon or a football game, muscles are painfully sore, but athletes are driven by other motivations, such as the desire to win. Soldiers endure pain out of patriotism; mothers endure the pain of childbirth because they want to have a baby. In a word, higher motivations exist in everyone, for better or for worse. A wife who stays with an abusive husband may be motivated by wanting security, feeling hopeless that she can exist on her own, or believing that she must be a loyal spouse. In complex ways the simple maxim of being happy through maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain simply doesn't work.

The first step on the other path, the path of wisdom, is to reject the pointless project of pursuing pleasure, and for most people it's too big a step. In modern America we are overwhelmed by mass media, advertising, and pop culture. These combine to reinforce the myth that endless consumerism is the key to happiness, along with a belief that if you distract yourself with TV, movies, video games, restaurants, etc., you will wind up being happy. You can spend a lifetime floundering around in this welter of illusions, which is why the path of wisdom, although thousands of years old, remains rare.

The path of wisdom seeks to untie the bonds that force us to identify with pleasure-pain. A new identity, based on a secure self, must emerge, and once that is accomplished, the foundation is laid for a higher self. All of this happens "in here," as awareness expands, matures, and transcends old conditioning. The methods for walking the path of wisdom are well-known by now: meditation, mindfulness, contemplative practices, and so on. Practical things like taking downtime and "in time" every day are useful. So is avoiding and reducing stress, attending to symptoms of anxiety and depression, and working on personal issues embedded from past traumas and wounds.

There's a lot to do that consumer culture ignores and minimizes, because consumer culture, including the culture of corporate success, is totally external, relying on the illusion that if you change things "out there" (by getting more money, possessions, status, and power), everything "in here" will be taken care of. The path of wisdom teaches that the exact opposite is true. Taking care of things "in here" is the prerequisite for happiness. The prospect of achieving lifelong happiness begins there, with one simple but profound realization.

Deepak Chopra MD, FACP, founder of The Chopra Foundation and co-founder of The Chopra Center for Wellbeing, is a world-renowned pioneer in integrative medicine and personal transformation, and is Board Certified in Internal Medicine, Endocrinology and Metabolism. He is a Fellow of the American College of Physicians and a member of the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists. Chopra is the author of more than 80 books translated into over 43 languages, including numerous New York Times bestsellers. His latest books are Super Genes co-authored with Rudolph Tanzi, PhD and Quantum Healing (Revised and Updated): Exploring the Frontiers of Mind/Body Medicine. www.deepakchopra.com

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Forget Setting Goals. Focus on This Instead.

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James Clear

We all have things that we want to achieve in our lives -- getting into the better shape, building a successful business, raising a wonderful family, writing a best-selling book, winning a championship, and so on.

And for most of us, the path to those things starts by setting a specific and actionable goal. At least, this is how I approached my life until recently. I would set goals for classes I took, for weights that I wanted to lift in the gym, and for clients I wanted in my business.

What I'm starting to realize, however, is that when it comes to actually getting things done and making progress in the areas that are important to you, there is a much better way to do things.

It all comes down to the difference between goals and systems.

Let me explain.

The Difference Between Goals and Systems

What's the difference between goals and systems?

• If you're a coach, your goal is to win a championship. Your system is what your team does at practice each day.
• If you're a writer, your goal is to write a book. Your system is the writing schedule that you follow each week.
• If you're a runner, your goal is to run a marathon. Your system is your training schedule for the month.
• If you're an entrepreneur, your goal is to build a million dollar business. Your system is your sales and marketing process.

Now for the really interesting question:
If you completely ignored your goals and focused only on your system, would you still get results?

For example, if you were a basketball coach and you ignored your goal to win a championship and focused only on what your team does at practice each day, would you still get results?

I think you would.

As an example, I just added up the total word count for the articles I've written this year. (You can see them all here.) In the last 12 months, I've written over 115,000 words. The typical book is about 50,000 to 60,000 words, so I have basically written two books this year.

All of this is such a surprise because I never set a goal for my writing. I didn't measure my progress in relation to some benchmark. I never set a word count goal for any particular article. I never said, "I want to write two books this year."

What I did focus on was writing one article every Monday and Thursday. And after sticking to that schedule for 11 months, the result was 115,000 words. I focused on my system and the process of doing the work. In the end, I enjoyed the same (or perhaps better) results.

Let's talk about three more reasons why you should focus on systems instead of goals. 

1. Goals reduce your current happiness.

When you're working toward a goal, you are essentially saying, "I'm not good enough yet, but I will be when I reach my goal."

The problem with this mindset is that you're teaching yourself to always put happiness and success off until the next milestone is achieved. "Once I reach my goal, then I'll be happy. Once I achieve my goal, then I'll be successful."

SOLUTION: Commit to a process, not a goal.

Choosing a goal puts a huge burden on your shoulders. Can you imagine if I had made it my goal to write two books this year? Just writing that sentence stresses me out.

But we do this to ourselves all the time. We place unnecessary stress on ourselves to lose weight or to succeed in business or to write a best-selling novel. Instead, you can keep things simple and reduce stress by focusing on the daily process and sticking to your schedule, rather than worrying about the big, life-changing goals.

When you focus on the practice instead of the performance, you can enjoy the present moment and improve at the same time. 

2. Goals are strangely at odds with long-term progress.

You might think your goal will keep you motivated over the long-term, but that's not always true.

Consider someone training for a half-marathon. Many people will work hard for months, but as soon as they finish the race, they stop training. Their goal was to finish the half-marathon and now that they have completed it, that goal is no longer there to motivate them. When all of your hard work is focused on a particular goal, what is left to push you forward after you achieve it?

This can create a type of "yo-yo effect" where people go back and forth from working on a goal to not working on one. This type of cycle makes it difficult to build upon your progress for the long-term.

SOLUTION: Release the need for immediate results.

I was training at the gym last week and I was doing my second-to-last set of clean and jerks. When I hit that rep, I felt a small twinge in my leg. It wasn't painful or an injury, just a sign of fatigue near the end of my workout. For a minute or two, I thought about doing my final set. Then, I reminded myself that I plan to do this for the rest of my life and decided to call it a day.

In a situation like the one above, a goal-based mentality will tell you to finish the workout and reach your goal. After all, if you set a goal and you don't reach it, then you feel like a failure.

But with a systems-based mentality, I had no trouble moving on. Systems-based thinking is never about hitting a particular number, it's about sticking to the process and not missing workouts.

Of course, I know that if I never miss a workout, then I will lift bigger weights in the long-run. And that's why systems are more valuable than goals. Goals are about the short-term result. Systems are about the long-term process. In the end, process always wins. 

3. Goals suggest that you can control things that you have no control over.

You can't predict the future. (I know, shocking.)

But every time we set a goal, we try to do it. We try to plan out where we will be and when we will make it there. We try to predict how quickly we can make progress, even though we have no idea what circumstances or situations will arise along the way.

SOLUTION: Build feedback loops.

Each Friday, I spend 15 minutes filling out a small spreadsheet with the most critical metrics for my business. For example, in one column I calculate the conversion rate (the percentage of website visitors that join my free email newsletter each week). I rarely think about this number, but checking that column each week provides a feedback loop that tells me if I'm doing things right. When that number drops, I know that I need to send high quality traffic to my site.

Feedback loops are important for building good systems because they allow you to keep track of many different pieces without feeling the pressure to predict what is going to happen with everything. Forget about predicting the future and build a system that can signal when you need to make adjustments. 

Fall In Love With Systems

None of this is to say that goals are useless. However, I've found that goals are good for planning your progress and systems are good for actually making progress.

In fact, I think I'm going to officially declare 2014 the "Year of the Sloth" so that everyone will be forced to slow down and make consistent, methodical progress rather than chasing sexy goals for a few weeks and then flaming out.

Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually a well-designed system will always win. Having a system is what matters. Committing to the process is what makes the difference.