No one is born a leader. But everyone of us had to be a follower. As a child we were dependent on the adults who raised, taught, and coached us. AND we had to follow what they said.

So following comes naturally to us even as adults. But leading has to be learned.
Sure, there are some who are “natural born leaders.” Growing up they may have had great role models. They might have had insight and self-awareness that they were brighter, stronger, and wiser than their schoolmates so they headed in the direction of being a leader. They could have determined that they never wanted to end up like their father, mother, or both of them and set about learning how to function in the world in ways the parents never could. There are all sorts of scenarios that bring people into leadership. But no matter what it is, leadership has to be learned.

So the best way to think about developing and growing your own leadership skills, wisdom, and presence is to “Grow It Until You Own It.”

This is very different from “fake it til you make it” which suggests that you can’t actually do what you are setting about to do so you have to “fake it.” Rather than faking it, I’m recommending that you sincerely assess your strengths as a potential or actual leader and then focus on growing those strengths until you can own them in full self-acceptance and with external validation. You are a “learner” not a “fake.”

Management Examples:

*** Public Speaking Skills
You already know how to speak. And you’ve spoken in public since you had to give a book report in front of your 4th grade class. And of course you’ve had numerous other occasions where you had to speak in public. NOW as a manager who wants to grow your leadership skills, you can GROW your ability to Connect, Inspire, and Motivate your team by growing your speaking ability.

To Connect Better - Practice sincerely looking at various members of your team when you lead your daily stand-ups or whatever regular meetings you run. It’s called eye-contact, but you can look at someone and see right through them. I’m talking about increasingly connecting with people, sincerely wanting their attention and focus, and opening to GROW by giving yourself more and more to this powerful leadership experience.

To Provide Inspiration - In order to inspire your team, you have to sincerely feel inspired yourself. Is that what you bring to your work? Or are you going through the motions hoping no one notices? If it’s the latter, then you first have to GROW your dedication to becoming a more effective leader. It won’t happen over night, but you can grow it rather than cheat yourself from a larger workplace role. Once your are sincerely open to growing your leadership you can identify and then GROW your care for what you and your team are doing. Only then can you find the emotional juice needed to inspire your team. When they see that you truly care about what everyone is doing, and you care about them achieving a winning outcome, then you can continually grow your ability to inspire them to ever greater excellence and meeting deadlines.

To Motivate - Only when your team members know you truly care about them and their professional development can you motivate them to excel. As a manager you may think you need to keep your emotional distance, to be objective when relating to your reports and their reports. Nothing could be further from the truth from the perspective of the people who work for you. They don’t want to be intimidated by you. They don’t want to feel their career is in jeopardy. Instead they want to know that you are sincerely motivated to help them and in doing so you automatically GROW your ability to motivate your team.

So “Grow It Until You Own It” and can then stand firmly centered in your managerial skills!
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What has been your experience of growing your professional skills and identity?

Judith Sherven, PhD and her husband Jim Sniechowski, PhD http://JudithandJim.com have developed a penetrating perspective on people’s resistance to success, which they call The Fear of Being Fabuloustm. Recognizing the power of unconscious programming to always outweigh conscious desires, they assert that no one is ever failing—they are always succeeding. The question is, at what? To learn about how this played out in the life of Whitney Houston for example, and how it may be playing out in your own life, check out their 6th book: http://WhatReally KilledWhitneyHouston.com

Currently consultants on retainer to LinkedIn providing transformational executive coaching, leadership training and consulting as well as working with other corporate and private clients around the world, they continually prove that when unconscious beliefs are brought to the surface, the barriers to greater success and leadership presence begin to fade away. You can learn about their core program “Overcoming the Fear of Being Fabulous” by going to
http://OvercomingtheFearofBeingFabulous.com

Their 7th book, short and to the point, “25 Power Speaking Tips That Will Leave Your Audiences Wanting More,” is available in kindle at: http://tinyurl.com/25PWRSPKGTips
And if you are involved in marketing, you may be interested in their 5th book “Love Your Customers and They Will Love You Back” http://tinyurl.com/lovecustomersbk